i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.