Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you