mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning