I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
