Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
