The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
