One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize