So drunk its hurt
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
