Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
