it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
