Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
