I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
