I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize