found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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