Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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