While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
