I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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