Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
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Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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