I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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