I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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