I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
