She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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