dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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