So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
That was before I lit my hair on fire
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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