and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
