I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
