Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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