oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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