i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize