I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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