She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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