Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She bit a glass in half.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize