at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
