well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
