I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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