school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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