is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
