Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
