I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
