and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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