Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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