I'm drive I can fine osifer
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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