She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
