what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
