I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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