that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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