Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
