direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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