$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sext me about skeletons
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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