I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?