11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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