Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
