i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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