I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Randomize
