I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize