I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
