Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
