Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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