it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
