Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
