You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
