we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
