why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
