found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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