What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
