and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
