if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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