I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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