I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Everything about him screamed your future.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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