She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
